Odin

I swear i've written the same shit a hundred times over! but i always erase it because it never sounds right, i want to be accurate in what i say. Though sometimes that isn't always possible.

My mindstate is crucial, and governs my direction. A whack mindstate will make me go whack. In my current mindstate i make attempts to do things, but always fall short because it proves to be irrelevant, or not what i actually wanted. Which is really frustrating, but at the same time i see the progress i make, and somehow can't recognize it.

So i'm making progress and not making progress at the same time, which makes perfect sense. I attempt to structure myself by accepting various archetypes, but they always morph into one because i can see the inherent similarities between them and how they are really quite the same. I think the ultimate act would be to devote myself, and give life meaning.

At this point nothing means anything, until i start to look for meaning and then i find all of the meaning in the world, only to be unable to decide which way to go. What i need to find is the thing that has the most meaning, meaning beyond my own. This is what i believe to be god, tao, one, all chaos, etc. I call this force Odin, because of the nature of Odin.

What i'm really missing at this point is that I am already devoted to myself, and by being devoted to myself i am devoted to the force i call Odin. I think once this is understood, and not just known, i will be better off. I have found Odin, but he is Svipal, changeable, as are all of ourselves. So in truth, i have not really found him, nor myself.

I do not wish to chase the fleeting, but isn't that just life? Eventually we die, instead of contemplating who i was and how things are, i should be concerned with living those things. But without some review of the things around me i would surely be lost. That is why Odin is the wanderer, he is not lost, he wanders.

You could be wandering and not know where you're going, but not be lost. You just have to keep close attention to what is around you and learn your way as you go. What guides? the force behind us, and the pull ahead of us.

" In life there is only what you felt "

I, personally, see Odin as comprised of three main forces. These forces are not exact, and often cross into eachother.

The stirrer of fury, wod. Not neccesarily aggression, the fire of life and the will to live. This is the aspect i use to enrich my life, it is centering and invigorating, inspiring. I think of this as Odin the shaman, he who sacrificed himself to himself. The one who is resound within themself.

The magician. This is the aspect that deals with intellect, wisdom, thought, memory, and expression of power. They say with great power comes responsibility. I say with the wisdom to not abuse power, comes power. Unexpressed power, restraint, is power. Though power is not always to be hidden. Express power to empower yourself when needed.

The wanderer. The wanderer sees much, and goes to many places, but never stays. This is the Svipal nature. No attachments, only an observer. This reflects the nature of life, moments are born and then die as quickly as they come.

Odin is the valfather, the king of the slain. As well as the god of memory. Fallen heroes were preserved in memory by the skalds, the poets. Odin is also the god of poetry. Odin takes only those who died a valiant death in service to him. Like Odin, remember and preserve only what serves you well in life, life is a battlefield afterall. Whether this be qualities of yourself, habits, people, ideas, beliefs, anything.